Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Everyone need mask to cover their face!


Sabtu kemaren gue pergi jalan2 sama temen gue. Pertama kita ngobrol tentang dia. Dia cerita tentang ex-nya, dan gimana dia ga ngerti tentang satu hal yang menurut temen2nya, itu bukan lagi sesuatu yg aneh or unik untuk diperdebatkan, sementara buat dia it was so big thing. She felt surprised to find that I agree with her. The circle thing, or should I say the square, really wasn’t nothing. Especially if you’re tightly connected to the circle, atau malah inside the circle. It wasn’t easy thing to cope with, although she was already inside another circle now.

We shared our issues, which surprisingly nyaris sama. I’m glad that she understands my feeling, my depression, my fears, because she experienced them too. Dia punya pertanyaan yang sama: apakah ini karena sifat kita emang gitu, because we’re childish and selfish sehingga sulit untuk overcome, ataukah karena keadaannya begitu sulit untuk dihadapi?


Dia cerita gmn dia juga fight dengan keadaan, dengan perasaan, how she tried to avoid the person but it felt so hurt and burned inside. And I said, the same thing happened to me… She knows exactly the way I feel.

Gue cerita bagian gue. My circle, my need to be needed, and all.
Later she said that she was kinda shocked to find out that I 'm kinda sensitive. Baca blog gue, dia sampe ga pcaya apa bener gue yang nulis atau bukan. Terlalu banyak kepedihan, terlalu fragile, seperti bukan gue yang nulis. Menurut dia, gue di blog sangat berbeda dengan apa yang gue tampilin di luar, yang easy going, cuek, ga mau susah, pokoknya orang yang freedom-minded banget. Dia bilang gue adalah orang yang malah jauh lebih sensitif dari dia.

So I said, I need a mask to cover my face. We’re all grown up, bukan lagi saatnya untuk bersikap suka2 tanpa memikirkan implikasinya. Kita belajar untuk menelan ego. But of course, not every time I wear it. Just most of my time. At least, gue butuh sugesti untuk diri gue sendiri supaya gue bisa maju terus, bahwa semua baik2 aja.

And then at last I asked her, had she cope the issues and made it to move on? I was so glad for her that she said she already moved on. Dia juga nyaranin gue untuk move on. The life must go on. Kita harus berjiwa besar dan berbesar hati. Temen gue ini kagum dengan kemampuan gue untuk berjiwa besar :)

It’s so glad to find a friend who thought differently from my other friends. Maksudnya, hampir semua temen2 gue menganggap gue adalah seseorang yang demikian adanya, yang keliatan oleh mata. Jarang banget yang nyadar bahwa gue juga punya banyak masalah, bukan cuma bagus2nya doang. Bukannya gue mengecilkan arti sahabat2 gue, but it’s really comfortable if there’s someone who knows exactly how you feel.

Lucunya, gue kemaren ini baca di majalah tentang ramalan gue. Ramalan itu bilang bahwa gue tuh orangnya butuh waktu lama untuk bisa punya sahabat dekat, dan itu karena gue jarang melibatkan emosi dlm pertemanan. Hmmm.. Bukannya ga baik yah melibatkan emosi? Beberapa kali gue nyaris jatuh gara2 emosi.

Anyway, this is life. This is a grown up process.

Let’s move on, move on. There’s no need to think about someone who doesn’t think of you.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valz day!

Still enjoying my lovely alone moments :)

Tahun lalu?
Siang-siang ke kampus, janjian sama Tania dan Andre, makan siang ketemu sama Mang Dagu, jalan2 ke Kota Kembang siangnya sama Mang Dagu while Tania Andre entah kmana, sorenya ke BSM, pulangnya ilang tiket parkir jadi harus bayar 20 rebu, which is baru akan ketemu besok paginya waktu gue mau pergi ke kampus, terus makan malem berempat di Pasadena Sederhana.

Such a lovely moments, but surely won't happened again.. At least, I think :)

Sad? A little bit.. But I have faith that something good will happen to me one day.
I'm a strong girl! What should be worried about?

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Hm..Hmm..Hmmm..Hmmmm..Aaaaaaaaaa!

Pengin ke luar negeriiiiiiii! All of sudden!
Or at least somewhere else, different place from the usual!

Sis! Ke kota kembang yuk Sabtu!

Aduh, si Terry cacar... jadi takut...

Haha, I just realized one thing: Percaya ga percaya, walaupun sama2 di Jakarta dan di bawah atap yg sama, I rarely met my sister.. We only met at weekends in Bandung! Bayangkan!

Oh, what a week!

It's been so long after my last post.
So many things happened, predictably and unpredictably.

On the end of January, Thursday's the exact day, the rain fell so hard all day long in Jakarta. I even wore my jacket! Please! It was so damn cold, and we all saw how hard the rainfall outside the office. Before the day, I've planned to go to Bandung on Thursday afternoon by car with my mom, because on Friday I have graduation thing to attend in my college, and Saturday was I-think-is-going-to-be-my-big-day. Okay.

Then after the daily report deadline, my associate called me to update my client's events, scan them and then send them! Omigod! What a f***in' client! Could they ask a few days before??
As a result, I have to stay in my office until half past 5! That was not going to be as it planned. Plus, the road home was so damnly stuck here and there, I couldn't even move an inch! Nyampe rumah jam 7. Plus, the radio said that on that day, several location in Jakarta had been flooded by water, as they said, up to more than 1 meter!

So I decided that we should go on Friday early in the morning. Starting that morning, things had been gone well. I attended my faculty event, met my old friends, and other preparation for the coming-Saturday.

On Saturday things gone so well too. Foto di Jonas, cabut ke kampus, wisuda.. Finally, after such a long time, I've graduated! Formally announced as Sarjana Ekonomi! Tapi, to be honest, rasanya biasa aja.. Cuma awal2 rasa waktu pake toga aja. Plus deg2annya waktu mau nyanyi Mohon Diri.. which my voice jadi kerasa aneh.. kayak bukan gue yg nyanyi. Hehehe..
I carried a gathering in my house with my friends.

Minggu, susah mau pulang karena banjir flooded Jakarta almost everywhere. Rumah sih ga banjir, tapi jalan menuju rumahnya itu loh yang ga tahan..
Mulai saat itu penderitaan dimulai.
-Nyampe rumah, listrik mati. And it lasted for the next four days. So paralyzed. Ngecharge handphone di kantor. Live only with candles. Gue mengorbankan lilin2 Ikea gue. Bodo lah. Ikea mah gue bisa pergi lagi, mati lampu itu yg sengsara.
-My monthly report deadline! Everyday this week, I came home at six, sometimes even more! Not to mention the stress and the pressure!
-Rabu gue telat. Kamis gue dateng sore ke kantor, after asked for permission to Ari. Itu pun cuma untuk ambil data yg ketinggalan di kantor. Thank God the electricity finally turned on!
-Jumat, waktu semakin mepet untuk deadline. Gue baru tidur jam 5 pagi, plus migrain. Jumat siang ke kantor utk beresin file2 sama editing summary. Jumat sore the heat had been going down.

Akhirnya selesai juga minggu ini. So much pressure, and I was so tired. I' still tired. I need vacation. Going somewhere else.
Planning to go to Bandung next Friday. Tania soon will be graduated.